Family Strengths

Kathy Bosch, Ph.D.
Extension Specialist, Family Life Education
Assistant Professor, Family and Consumer Sciences
College of Education and Human Sciences, University of Nebraska

All families have some strengths, although strengths will vary among families. The key is to examine whether your family is working well and is happy. Strong families genuinely care about each other and respect each other. They show appreciation and affection. They do not hesitate to share feelings and express love. Individual members care about the needs of others in the family. For example, it matters when someone is hurting, needing attention, wanting help, or has something to say. In other words, strong families nurture each other. This includes the partner relationship in addition to parent-child relationships.

Strong families enjoy spending time together. Partners nurture their intimate relationship and want to do things together as a family. They respect each other and care about each other’s needs and wants. They take time to foster interests and attend to each other’s needs without losing their sense of self. All of this might be difficult to do but they communicate effectively and work to negotiate differences. Conflict is usually not avoided but given the necessary attention to deal with problems rather than attacking family members. The couple relationship is the major focus of the family and other things tend to fall into place because the parents work together. Mutual love and respect is present. Partners do not side with children against each other. They work through crises in ways that build and support each other. They lean on each other and accept help from one another. They seek outside intervention when needed.

Strong families value each other and demonstrate commitment. They share responsibilities equally and everyone has a say in decision making. This is not to say that parents don’t have authority over children because they do, however, they consider children’s needs in making decisions. They have reasonable expectations for each other and respect the various roles each person plays in the family.

Spirituality has an important place in strong families. They recognize a higher being and nurture relationships according to their beliefs and value system. They also realize that individual members must decide on personal ownership of the beliefs and values and do not ostracize members for varying beliefs. At the same time, individual members will not intentionally hurt or demean others, in fact, they strive to build self-esteem and connection among family members. How does your family fair? It is helpful to know that each family can become stronger by each individual family member striving to nurture and improve relationships.

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Updated Jan. 3, 2007
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